Quotes from Season Two
Fools Rush In
Tommy: I'm just gonna lay low until I can find a way to regain the status cool. My entire reputation's at stake.
Lil: To think all this could have been avoided if only Francine had been honest about her feelings.
Kimi: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Tommy: Wha? Would someone mind filling me in?
Both Lil & Kimi: She obviously likes you.
Kimi: Newsflash Tommy. She's a girl.
Tommy: The truly scary thing is, that almost makes sense.
* * * * *
Phil: We only have, like a minute to talk.
Lil: But we think it's important to help you see where you went so wrong sibling-wise. Dil, you have to understand that Phil's un-flinching respect for me is based solely on the fact that I'm two minutes older and light year's ahead on the maturity scale.
Phil: Yeah, right Lillian. That's why I heard you do the fart-spangled banner in the bathtub last night.
Memoirs of a Finster
Chuckie: See, friends are like holidays. You can never have enough of them.
Dil: Deep. You make that up?
Chuckie: Nope. I got it off a greeting card.
Finster Who Stole Christmas
Chuckie: *Sighs*
Lil: What's the matter, Chuckster? Holiday blues got ya down? Oh no, now I'm even sounding like my mother!
* * * * *
Chuckie: You! You're the cause of my misery. You're the reason the poor Hilicki children are suffering right now. You! You and you're soft branches and perfectly spaced ornaments. Look at it Tommy. Just standing here mocking me. Mocking me!
Lil: What's he talking about, Tommy?
Tommy: I ... uh.
Chuckie: What are you looking at, fat man?
Santa: Give me a break. The holidays are stressful.
Chuckie: Well Christmas is a sham. What do you say to that, huh? I mean, look at this: "Away in a Manager's Special?" This is the meaning of Christmas?!
Tommy: Chuckie let's go!
Chuckie: Fine, I'll go. But not without one of these (Chuckie attempts stealing a candy cane).
Santa: Hey! Those are for customers only.
Chuckie: Let go of me!
...MOMENTS LATER
Phil: What's wrong, Chuckie?
Lil: I've never seen you like this. It's kind of attractive.
Izzy or Isn't He
Phil: Having Chuckie as safety commish is like jumping into a shark tank wearing a meat suit.
Tommy: I think the pursuit of safety is a noble cause.
Lil: How's your thumb?
Tommy: Somebody get a crow bar and some butter!
* * * * *
Chuckie: See what I mean? Ever since Izzy happened, no one's paying attention to the safety commissioner race!
Lil: No Chuckie, ever since the dawn of time, no one's paid attention to that race.
Tommy: Why are you so freaked? You can win! I still don't even know who this Amelia is.
Phil: I wouldn't recognize her if she walked right up to me and loogied on my shoes.
* * * * *
Lil: Wow, Amelia sure doesn't look like the mudslinging-type.
Phil: You know what they say about the quiet ones ... silent but deadly.
* * * * *
Dil: You're barking up the wrong vomit wheel. I didn't nominate Izzy, Shaun did.
Chuckie: This is just beyond whack.
Dil: I know. I don't want to trash talk my main bro, but Izzy has no business running. He's not exactly the safest imaginary alien I ever met.
Chuckie: Nice button.
Dil: It is my duty as a friend to be supportive, even if I think he's making a bad call.
Chuckie: What about me? Aren't we friends, too?
Dil: Of course, but I'm all Izzy's got. Sure, he has tons of peeps, but I'm the only mother Izzy's ever known.
* * * * *
Lil: Sorry Chuckie. I just don't think you'd make a very good safety commish.
Chuckie: Why not?
Lil: Remember when you forgot to install brakes in your go-cart and caused a 13-cart pile-up?
Phil: Or the time you freed my leach collection into the town pool?
Lil: Or the time you wheel barrowed me into an open sewer?
Chuckie: Those were all accidents! So you'd rather have an imaginary safety commissioner than a real one; if the real one is me?
Phil: Let me put it this way. If I wanted to pursue a career in ice dancing, I'd hope you'd be a good-enough friend to stop me.
* * * * *
Chuckie: But he's (Izzy) still here, right? And he's going to make a full recovery? (Sighs) I can't believe I just asked that.
Dil: You did. And you care, don't you?
Chuckie: I do. So where is he, Izzy?
Dil: He's sitting in the back. The ego on that imaginary guy!
(Laughter)
Project Chuckie
Tommy: Wait till you hear your parts, guys.
Lil: I love the theater. The lights, costumes, make-up, applause.
Phil: Good. Now, how do you feel about a skit in a history assembly?
Lil: Oh yeah. Well, it is extra credit.
Kimi: I don't know, history is so passe.
Tommy: Not in my version. These guys were cool. Real rebels. The original American bad boys. It's going to rock. And I picked you guys over everyone.
Phil: No one else wanted to do it, right?
Tommy: That too.
* * * * *
Chuckie: King George? King George?! The guy everyone hates?! Oh sure ... let's make Chuckie "Mr. Un-popular-revolting-king-guy."
Phil: Shows how much you know. I'm revolting.
Lil: Can't argue with the facts.
Chuckie: Why is everything so easy for them? Just once I'd like to know what it feels like to be genuinely popular.
Lil: Uh, and what are we? Deformed mutants?
Kimi: Well, we are "the people."
Tommy: Chuckie, we're popular.
Chuckie: No, we're normal. Except maybe Phil.
Phil: Hey.
Chuckie: We're okay popular. But not like them.
Kimi: And you care because?
Chuckie: I have no idea! I mean, I'm having all kinds of weird feelings lately.
Kimi: Mm-hmm.
Lil: Yep.
Chuckie: Mm-hmm, yep what?!
Kimi & Lil: Hormones.
Chuckie: Oh, life was so simple back when I was ten.
* * * * *
Tommy: So forget them, Chuckie.
Lil: Yeah, you have unique qualities that make you cool in your own way.
Chuckie: Really? (Confidently)
Phil: Really? (Surprised)
* * * * *
Tommy: Moving on! Oh man, where's Chuckie?
Chuckie: Chillax, boo. I was off twisting up at the game. But now I'm kicking it into high gear. Even getting deep with big bad King G, uh huh.
(Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil look in disbelief)
Edith: Wow!
Fear of Falling
Phil: (looking through binoculars) Man, this baby's so strong, you can make out every pimple on that mountain's butt.
Tommy: Spoken like a true astronomer. Go ahead Chuckie, take a look.
Chuckie: Uh, no thanks. I'm not ready to look my enemy in the face just yet.
Tommy: (stumbles and looks through the binoculars into the ski lodge and gasps)
Phil: What? You see somebody naked?
* * * * *
Chuckie: Can I ask you a personal question?
Phil: Okay, I didn't shower before I got in. But nobody takes that rule seriously.
Chuckie: Am I the only one who feels weird around Olivia?
Phil: I don't know about her, but I do feel weird around Tommy when he's around Olivia. She is pretty nice, though. And she didn't cry when I accidentally hit her in the head with a giant snowball.
Chuckie: That was an accident?
Phil: Okay, I was totally aiming for her head.
